Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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