That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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