She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
