We won't sleep together?
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
sex in a hospital.. check
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize