it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
