I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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