...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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