He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
