this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
