it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
