There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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