Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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