I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
