I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
