best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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