Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize