He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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