Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
