gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
