Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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