I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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