I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize