Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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