Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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