i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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