Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
