maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
