in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
