i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
