ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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