I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
