honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
