apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
