I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
