My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Boobs speak an international language.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
