i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So much rum. So many feels.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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