____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
