Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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