If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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