like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
