I'm so fucking centered right now
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
