I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
