I'm drive I can fine osifer
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hippo gnu deer
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
