Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
