i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
