You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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