what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
