I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
