Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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