I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize