3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
