She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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