i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
