You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
