Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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