Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
