...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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