it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
